Ko-Lee Go Noodles Xtreme Hot & Spicy

Tagged: Ko-Lee, Curry flavour, Avocado, Crab, Lettuce, SpiceWatch Investigations

It is an unspoken rule that I must purchase and try anything that I come across that brands itself as "spicy".

Like I alluded to in a previous post, one of the reasons I started this blog was my contempt for instant noodles that loudly proclaim their spiciness in the packaging and fail to deliver on their promises. One instant noodle in particular which spurred my want for deliberating over quick meals on the internet has yet to make an appearance, and probably will remain that way for a while since I feel I have much more interesting fodder to write about first. And no, it's not Buldak, I have unkind words towards that one that will also remain to be seen another time.

Instead, today we're looking at a fairly innocuous example that isn't quite one of the main brands that are absolutely everywhere, but still commonplace enough that I've seen it in chain supermarkets around me. No surprises here, just dump everything into the bowl and pour boiling water. Well, I would say "no surprises", but I was actually quite surprised looking at the packaging. More on that in a bit.

Simple as.

Reader, I could not find the spicy. I looked for it in the noodles, I looked for it in the oily broth. At best I could describe what I found as warming, but not spicy. This is exactly the kind of false advertisement offender that I vowed to stand against. That being said, the flavour was pretty good but I couldn't really identify what it was, like it was just the platonic ideal of instant noodles. There wasn't much to write home about there, but it wasn't offensive either.

I like tagging my posts with the flavour of the noodles separately, but this one only identifies itself as "hot and spicy flavour", which doesn't really jive with my taxonomy. Looking at the packaging for clues, the best I could piece together was that mushrooms and soy were somehow in the mix. Also looking at the packaging, I found out what made it "3 in 1", it's the ways in which they suggest you can prepare the noodles. And the third one...

Very weird to see this sanctioned by the noodle makers.

I've done this before with other ordinary instant noodle blocks, I won't lie. And I've had bags of snack noodles much like instant noodles that were meant to be eaten this way, not prepared in hot water. I've even revelled in seeing this advanced technique mentioned in the second issue of the fictitious "Trash World News" magazine from the game EXAPUNKS. But this is the first time I see it as an optional method on a packet of noodles meant to be prepared. I feel like my past food crimes have suddenly been absolved.

It might not be much of a looker, but it came together pretty well.

When you're slightly hungover and hungry, the last thing you want is to have to figure out how to put together a meal. Thankfully, last night's seafood and wine tasting event provided both the hangover and the solution to today's noodles. One of the leftovers I brought home were crab meat and avocado pinchos, and while I didn't care much for the toast they were made with, the toppings made for excellent noodle additions. In the end, for my tagging conundrum, I'm calling this one a "curry" flavour, if only because that's about as vague as the flavour was to me.

Meal Components

The Scientific Method

• Prepare the noodles as usual
• Get perplexed by the lack of describable flavour
• Hunt around the ingredients list to decipher what flavour they're meant to be
• Get perplexed by unexpected sanctioning of a rather unhealthy snacking habit on the packaging
• Hunt around the fridge for leftover takeaway containers
• Dump whatever looks good in the bowl
• Enjoy!

Now that I know Ko-Lee wants me to have these noodles dry and raw, I wonder if that would bring any more flavour out of them. I think another round of scientific testing is warranted.